pika slap

watch all of it it fast forwards at the end and i don't have adio on this shity comp so i don't know what it sounds like so suck it up, damnit!!

awesome

i saw a commercial for the new myth busters episode where they bust, and yes they will bust it, the water jet car as seen on youtube. i, in all my ignorance had not seen it, decided to look it up and i found this which i think is fucking cool! the myth buster will bust it but they have lost all credibility with me. they are untrain in any of the fields in which their myth fall. they do a bunch of shit that is of coarse going to fail. i still watch it cause it's funny but i don't think it's science.

my birthday

it's my birthday so i will be spending it sitting around playing video games, drink soda, and eating all kinds of goodies. including, but mot limited to, smoked goda, skittles, cashews, and sour patch kids. that's right and noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cleaning allllll day!!

made me cry

part 3

part 2

part 1

for zzking

If you see It, kill It

i participated in the 9th annual garlic mustard challenge at Potapsco state park. Potapso park is being overrun with this tiny plant. It has a four petaled flower atop a long stalk and grows like a weed on steroids. It loves sunlight and grows in clearings. It's roots don't go that deep so it's easy to pull. Overall we picked 2057 pounds worth of this monster plant. It was a lot of fun and we split up into groups to better exterminate the invading plant. Garlic mustard is an invading species that is threatening to destroy the local environment. I was a part of the Catonsville high environmental club team thing. I do not actually attend Catonsville high but my brother's team lacked members so i volunteered. There were only two freshmen, my brother the senior, and one teacher. i didn't actually sign up for their team but rather was a phantom helper. The winners were the first to go to the prize table. The first place winners were judged by how much weight per person in the group. The UMBC team won that one. The second place was graded on how much weight overall. That one went to a troop of cub scouts. I think it is assholish for the college guys to go before the kids to the prize table. the table was adorn with stuffed animals and toys and things like that but the assholes from UMBC decided they wanted the good toys. Anyway all they kids got the stuffed animals and the UMBC students got the big kid toys like desk swimmer things. You know the things that have their head and butt sticking out so it looks like they're swimming. Every one got a basket of candy. we ended up in like 6th place behind 3 boy scout troops. this suited me just fine being the phantom helper has it's perks. i wasn't actually a loser because i actually didn't exist. I ended up getting this cool puzzle box thing that holds money. It's hard as hell to open but sooo cool. My brother got a desk pet alligator. Pretty cool.

besides the prize table it was all around a pretty good time. We had picnic games like the egg toss, a pillow case race, an egg toss, a three legged race, a bubble gum blowing contest, and limbo. It was awesome!! My brother is freakishly tall so he lost at limbo, but the little kids won so i approve. he actually lasted a lot longer than i expected. He's like 6ft 5. He's huge. he could play basketball if he didn't suck at it. I lost because i suck at limbo. We did the egg toss together and lost it due to confusion. we kept throwing it back and forth and didn't realize you only had to do it once. This one kid and his dad kept competing against the little kids. i hat that. he was like 12 years against a 6 year old. Two little kids won the eggs toss. They were really good. They were like 4 yards away. We also participated in the 3 legged race, but due to height differences couldn't get it together in time. we lost to the same kid i told you about, the asshole one. We lost the bubble blowing contest to another high school girl but she gave her prize to one of the cub scouts. That is how you don't be an asshole. It's ok to be competitive but just don't be an ASSHOLE!!!! Sorry but I'm going out of order here. This year they didn't have the egg toss before the pillow case race. It was much better. Less messy. Me and my brother lost to the asshole kid. It was cool. there was also a scavenger hunt in the woods. We didn't do it. I went out into the woods and a dog about 15 feet away started barking at me. Not meanly, but like a stray. It left when i stared it down. I followed it of course. It wore a dirty collar so I assumed it was a pet dog escaped to live in the woods. It was an old collar. It circled around the picnic area. It came around to the front where the volunteers were weighing the garlic mustard. It watched for a while and one of the volunteers brought it some pizza and fed it. It seemed scared. A few stupid kids tried to go up to it while it tried to get away from them. I pointed out the obvious fact that it didn't want them to get close. That scared a few of them away, but one stupid girl kept trying to pet it. Eventually it left much to the disappointment of the stupid people. as i was leaving i saw the volunteer guy feeding it more pizza so i hope it found a home. All and all it was pretty bad ass.

LLLGGGLLGGLGLLGG

i don't know if this is true but i heard it and thought it was funny so i might as well write it.

i heard that LG kept getting messages to their help line about their mp3 players. the only problem
is they don't make mp3 players. it turns out that a chinese base company had been making faulty mp3s and simply putting a LG logo on it. i think this was a brilliantly stupid thing to do but what's it matter what i think. well anyway LG sues this chinese company in world court or something and wins their case. the chinese have to change their name. and what do they change it to. GL.

read me

i up date the piss list often so check it again later

my subconcious makes an attempt at escaping, i beat it back down

last night i had the strangest dream. i was on an interstate only i wasn't i wasn't in a car. i was on top of a trash can lid. i was going as fast as all the cars going past me. i was like scate boarding on this trash can lid. the cars moved like a giant herd of cattle aways in one direction never getting larger or smaller. suddenly i see all the cars drop off as if going over a waterfall. you know like the scene in the lion king where the elk things get startled by the hyenas and run down the hill. it was like that. i come up to the edge and without stopping, plummet down the hill at full speed. i see that there is another hill on the other side just as steep but not quit as high. i crul up making myself like a bullet. i go faster and faster but the cars seem to keep pace. this hill is massive. like going down a mountain on a trash can lid. somehow amongst all the cars and blinding speed i felt exhilarated. the idea that i might crash and die didn't dawn on me at the time. I'm crazy like that. I'm going so fast the barriers on the sides were only a blur beside me. the cars still kept pace the inter time. i go rocketing up the other side and begin to slow down. this time the cars kept speeding past me. i make it to the top and go rocketing into the air. how i kept enough momentum, i don't know. i was going pretty slow there at the end. or at least in comparison to the other cars. it didn't occur to me to lean froward and by doing so end up on the other side of the hill. instead i look straight up into the clear blue sky and the long seemingly unending dreary road ahead. when i start to fall i realize i should have leaned forward. i fall back into the ravine road thing and don't go nearly as fast this time but merely come to a stop at the bottom. there i see my friends are all laughing and trudging along at a very slow speed up the hill along the shoulder. i abandon my trash can lid for a bicycle. i begin pedalling and soon catch up with them. they tell me that "you only get one shot at doing it fast" and we all laugh. the cars speed past us not paying any attention to a few kids pushing their bikes up an incredible steep hill. we make it to the top in a short time. a lot shorter than it should have taken us. ahead of us isn't the busy packed road we had been on but rather a sunny country road lined with trees on either side. my friends don't notice the difference but rather get in their bikes and ride ahead. i mount my bike. then i wake up.

pretty profound sentimental shit there at the end huh? i'm not all that sentimental. it was weird as i told you it would be.

us senator, idiot or genius?

help me
image from: xkcd.com
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katamari

hahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!
help
image from: xkcd.com
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I AM LOSING MY MIND!!!

i am losing what little of my mad cow induced brain is left. some one help me. i just spent and hour looking through a online comic site. it was hilarious but completely futile. see Squirrel comic to see what happened.

perspective

LOL
help me please
image from: xkcd.com
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i hate it when that happens

i hate it when that happens
HELP
image from:xkcd.com
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if in doubt find squirrels

somebody please help me
i can't stop with this site
image from: xkcd.com
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so true

i found this site and just couldn't help myself
image from: xkcd.com
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centrifugal/centrifigal

image from: xkcd.com
they have some funny stuff
check it out

crazy dreams

last night i had the weirdest dream. i was driving in a car on a dark spring evening with my aunt(Deana) driving my mother was in the passenger's seat. the wierd thing is she was old, or at least older than she is now.We drove past all the places from my childhood, playgrounds, daycares, old houses, the works. only they were all scary like they had been stretched out or disfigured. there were playgrounds stood on top of long poles 50 feet in the air. my old house had the windows boarded up and was stretched like silly puddy. the middle was stretched and elongated. the top was wide and cast a long shadow over the car. my grandmother's pool had been turned on it's side and filled with laterally facing blades. the weird thing is they didn't scare me, they made me feel comfortable, as f the familiarity made the changes seem insignificant. It gets weirder. We pull up to what looks like a stadium it has a spiral around it that we drive up and park on the roof. Somehow when we go to the door we are on ground level. Weird yet? Me and my aunt help my mother up the stairs in her wheel chair. i normally would have taken the elevator, but hey it's a dream. we see another man and his family is pulling him up the stairs in a rocking chair. the man had a straggly beard that look like a cross between stubble and a full grown beard. Remember it's a dream. well anyway we get to the room we are supposed to be at and my aunt take a quilty pillow looking thing and puts it on a pile of other pillow things. i leave my aunt and mother to go search for my grandmother who's pillow thing i had recognized. i look down the pews of what looks like a church. i see rows or warcraft characters. there were orcs, humans, night and blood elves, one or two tauren and a whole bunch of draeni. they were all dressed in curvy weird looking plate mail. i look to the front of the room and see Kael'Thalas. i instantly recognize him as my brother and realize that, this is his graduation. i woke up right after seeing him on the pedestal giving what appeared to be a serman. i never found my grandmother or my other aunts.

the piss list

Thing That Piss Me Off

1. Will Ferrel, he's not a bad actor he just takes stupid roles to fit his persona of stupid
2. people who slam on their breaks instead on coming to a gradual halt, unfortunately my mother is one of those same people
3. movies that have the same story line as every other movie of that genre, get a new story. You know I'm talking about you horror movies
4. Jet Li said that he would do no more kong fu movies. He lied i hate that
5. human statues, they sit there and expect me to give them change, that is so much bull shit. i don't get a pay check for sitting, why should they? because their idea is so original? Hell no!! Get a job!!
6. youtube famous people who have one great song or video and then try to get more and more for nothing
7. Talidapali
8. having to unplug everything when natural FUCKING weather occurs
9. people who have their shit plugged into a surge protector and still unplug their shit during a storm,FUCK 'Em

origins of a Mad Cow (42th edition)

I got the idea for this blog from 2 sources. First the i got mad cow from Diablo 2. some of you may know what I'm talking about. I called my self killer of mad cows. It later got shortened to mad cow man. My account got deleted after i stopped logging on. pisses me off. when i was 13 i read a book. that book's name was the hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy. hysterical, if you only read one book this year then you are a retard. but you should still read it martard. no seriously this is a great book. they recently made it into a movie which was completely and utterly stupid. this movie makes Barney look like quantum physics. i literally felt sick after watching it. of course i had the stomach flu at the time but still the movie sucked. if you only see one movie this year then you live in a cave and should just succumb to your crazy animal instincts. i know i would. any way in the book beings from a different plane of existence create a computer named deep thought. the purpose of said computer was to calculate the answer to life the universe and every thing. the answer was very unsatisfying. 42. naturally this made every one very confused. deep thought then created a computer that would calculate the question of life the universe and everything. this computer turned out to be the earth. in the end(spoiler alert) the Vogons destroy all the earths in all the alternate universes. wich kind of sucks, but at the same time is kind of any improvement. admit it the world went to shit when bush got into the white house. notice how i said in the white house and not elected. there is a difference. and i better not get a bunch of shit about how I'm too harsh. if your thinking about writing me about how he got in legit i will come and break your dipshit kneecaps. GRRRRRRR!!!!!! MOO!!